My mother keeps kissing my daughter goodbye without her consent – what should I do?

Jane’s daughter will soon be three, so she’s trying to teach her that her body is her own and that she can say no to hugs and kisses if she wants to.

But despite her best efforts to teach this lesson, her mother is apparently making it “almost impossible” and won’t stop kissing her daughter when she cares for her.

“Family should always have cuddles”

“She helps me a lot with childcare, which I’m very grateful for,” Jane explains to NetMums.

“But I’ve noticed that when my daughter says no to a kiss or a cuddle, my mum always says things like ‘don’t be silly, of course you can hug your nanny’, and goes for the kiss anyway.”

Jane says she has tried to talk to her mum about it, but she says she thinks she is being ‘ridiculous’, that ‘a three-year-old doesn’t know what she wants’ and that ‘family should always have cuddles’.

Mom told the forum she wants opinions to see if other people think she’s overreacting too.

“I just want my daughter to grow up feeling like she has some control over her body,” she says.

“If everyone thinks I’m crazy, I’ll quit, but if not, I can show mom it’s not just me!”

“It’s OK to Teach Your Daughter About Boundaries”

In response, one user wrote: “You’re being ridiculous. Sorry to be blunt.”

Another mother replied: “In short, if you are not satisfied with the level of care, then you can place your child with another child care provider.”

A third added: “Sorry but you are wrong. Your mother helps with childcare but is not allowed to give/receive hugs and kisses from her granddaughter. Might be a good idea to teach your daughter your that she is allowed to say no to hugs and kisses from extended family and friends, but not from immediate family!”

And a quarter agreed: “It’s her nan, she obviously loves her very much and provides loving care for her. It’s okay to teach your daughter about boundaries, but close family in this context is completely different.”

“Dycare ignores our no touch rule”

This mother also teaches her daughter about her bodily autonomy, but found that the daycare ignored her rules.

“When my three-year-old, who doesn’t like to be touched, was starting a new nursery, I told the teachers that she does NOT like hugs and that they should never try to hold or hug her to help her calm down. down”, writes Sophea.

“I gave them a list of other tools they could use to help her feel safe. Her favorite toy. A quiet place in the corner alone. Reading a book. A little space and time so she can come when she’s ready,” she continued.

And to her absolute disgust, they didn’t listen. And because of that, they decided to leave.

“I’ll never forget looking out the window to the outside area where all the kids are playing and seeing the teacher pick up my daughter and try to hug her. My daughter was absolutely beside herself. Screaming. Terrified. Extortion. Screaming.”